I said I’d be back.

10 March 2009 | 1:03 | RL

I said I’d be back.

OK, I didn’t say that. But here I am, declaring to no one in particular that I have returned. I spent the last two and a half months (since Christmas, really) suffering from some kind of brain retardation. It was sort of like a hibernation. Perhaps I am part bear? All I know is I slept long days, stayed up longer lights, and failed hard at keeping in contact with people. Maybe it’s the return of Daylight Savings, or maybe it is the reminder that there are people that I like to talk to on the internets… either way, I have decided to be sociable once more.

I am now I am faced with the herculean task of reading 80+ days of backlogged email. Wish me luck.



State of Emergency (feat. Brad Sucks)

23 March 2008 | 23:49 | Songs

State of Emergency

forkbomb feat. Brad Sucks - State of Emergency

Brad lent his spectacular vocals to this song, and really helped guide the paranoid lyrics. The looming deadline rushed my performance and the arrangement is a pretty generic, but aside from that I think it’s pleasantly funky.



Lyrics:

Everywhere I go they’re watching me from behind, out of sight
and when I tun I can almost see them in my eyes, and in mind
I’m sure you’d think that I’m crazy if I’d heard these voices in my head
But nothing makes more sense to me then all the things that they have said

To me, to me, to me, to me…

I just want you to know that I don’t want to know
Anything that you give me I can get on my own
Runnin’ out in the street with my heart on my sleave
Head stuck in a state of emergency

Everybody else is a machine, everyone but me, everyone but me
If you’d only see the things I’ve seen then you’d believe, you’d believe
I know you think you should intervene but I trust myself and I don’t want your help
Disagree, but I don’t need you questioning my mental health

Please leave, please leave, please leave, please leave…

I just want you to know that I don’t want to know
Anything that you give me I can get on my own
Runnin’ out in the street with my heart on my sleave
Head stuck in a state of emergency

I’m sure you think I’m going insane
(But I’m the only one without a implant in my brain)
I’m sure you think I’m paranoid
(But all work and no play make me a very dull boy)

I just want you to know that I don’t want to know
Anything that you give me I can get on my own
Runnin’ out in the street with my heart on my sleave
Head stuck in a state of emergency



The Ballad of Stacy Pia (Hell Yeahs cover)

23 March 2008 | 22:57 | Uncategorized

forkbomb - The Ballad of Stacy Pia (Hell Yeahs cover)

I guess it’s not really a ballad. I did this song for mid-fi rocker extraordinaire Phil Redmon’s 30th birthday. It’s actually a medly of two different Redmon songs, So Kind Stacey by the Hell Yeahs and Onomatopoeia by Abominominous (now there’s a mouthful). The latter is not covered very faithfully, as I took liberties with the lyrics, chords and time signature, and changed the general meaning of the song to help fit the catfight theme.



Lyrics:

You put up a front like you’re everybody’s best friend
But you’re really diabolical and secret
Nobody’s buying it, you know you’re just pretending
Your mean streak, well everybody can feel it

You’ve got a stare like a laser out your bug eyes
But you’re sweetness and kisses to everyone’s face
You’re all shaking your shit in front of the guys
But you never let ‘em get to first base

HEY! HEY! STACY! You think you’re so kind
But you can’t see the way that everybody’s seeing through ya’
SO! KIND! STACY! It’s all in your mind
And when we come around you know you’ll get what’s coming to ya’

Behind your back you know we’re chattin’ kind of catty
When we’re plotting out your disaster
I bet your money’s really comming from daddy
And your boyfriend’s a cheating bastard

The way you’re bubblin’ is nothin’ but bull
And I hate to be the one to break it to you, Stace’
I talked it over with the other girls
And I think I’m going to slap your fucking face

HEY! HEY! STACY! You think you’re so kind
But you can’t see the way that everybody’s seeing through ya’
SO! KIND! STACY! It’s all in your mind
And when we come around you know you’ll get what’s coming to ya’

BANG! BANG! BANG! Bang bang!

Oh Stacy… here’s how it’s gonna’ go down:

Oh No! What’s the matter, Pia?
Yeah, we’re commin’ to go Bang! Bang! Bang!
Oh No! What’s the matter, Pia?
You knew it was trouble when your doorbell rang
Ding Dang! What’s the sound you hear?
I’m crackin’ all my knuckles one by one
Oh No! What’s the matter, Pia?
We’re bringin’ trouble, you had best a-run

You don’t know what we’ve done
You go Bang! Sha-boogie. Bang! Bang! Sha-boogie-oogie

Oh No! What’s the matter, Pia?
Somebody must have moved your coffee cup
Oh No! What’s the matter, Pia?
You’re Dawson-Creekin’ when we interrupt
Boom! Crack! Is the sound you’ll hear
When we’ve got a score to settle up
Oh No! What’s the matter, Pia?
We’re bringin’ trouble, you had best a-run

You don’t know what we’ve done
You go Bang! Sha-boogie. Bang! Bang! Sha-boogie-oogie



Brownie Points

22 March 2008 | 20:20 | Songs

Brownie

forkbomb - Brownie Points

This song has a weird back story. It was done for a weekly Survivor-style songwriting competition: a bunch of bands enter, and–after eight-or-so rounds of elimination–one band leaves (as it happens, that band was me). One of the rules of the competition was that in the early rounds ‘immunities’ can be earned; I had earned one in the previous round, so there was no way I could get kicked out of the competition. I decided to flagrantly abuse this by doing all the things you’re not supposed to do in song writing, including writing about songwriting, playing out of tune, needless profanity, trying to pass off ‘doot do’s as legit lyrics, frequent time-signature changes, and incorporating long copyrighted samples. That sample actually has even more backstory, but it’s too esoteric to be worth explaining.

This is the only song I’ve done that turned out exactly how I wanted.



Lyrics:

I could have my choice
I could bring the noise
I could lose my voice tonight
Because I’m just doing this for
Brownie points

OH MY GOD! Why did I write this song?
When I could be out doing anything in the world that I want
I could go but I just stay at home
Because today is my one moment to do it totally wrong

I am immune to every review
So today I can get away with whatever I wanted to
What should I do? I could play out-of-tune *screech*
I could say “FUCK all these words” and just go

“Doot doot doo doo doot do dooo doo!”

I could have my choice
I could bring the noise
I could lose my voice tonight
Because I’m just doing this for
Brownie points

[ad infinitum]



Bioluminescence

22 March 2008 | 19:27 | Songs

Ooooo…

forkbomb - Bioluminescence

The downsides of being transparent and radiant. You should be able to tell from the sub-par mix and unsteady vocals that this song is super old, but I think it’s charming. I had a lot of fun giving each verse a different flavour, be it country, old-timey music or ambient soundscape.



Lyrics:

It is tough to land a catch when you’re an anglerfish like me,
If she’s got her wits about her she can see right through my scheme,
Because whenever I am anxious and whenever I’m upset,
I trip a trap that flips a switch to the light above my head

Yeah!

It’s not easy to be Bioluminescent,
There’s no subtlety when you’re Bioluminescent,
I wear my feelings on my sleeve because I’m Bioluminescent,
Bioluminescence! (La-la-la-la La-la-la-la La-la-la-la La-la-la-la!) Bioluminescence!

It is tough to land a job when you’re a tiny firefly,
There’s just something about my ass that makes it hard for me to lie,
And when they say “How do you rate yourself: One, two, three, four or five?”
The light shining out my pant cuffs is impossible to hide

Yeah!

It’s not easy to be Bioluminescent,
There’s no subtlety when you’re Bioluminescent,
I wear my feelings on my sleeve because I’m Bioluminescent,
Bioluminescence! (La-la-la-la La-la-la-la La-la-la-la La-la-la-la!) Bioluminescence!



Mastering: Limiting vs. Clipping

31 July 2007 | 23:39 | Producing, Nerdfest

Brownie Points Clipped (but not from the Betty Crocker catalogue)

Here’s a confession: I like loud. But, as everyone knows by now, loud can sound pretty damn terrible. When mastering my own songs the penultimate stage (dithering comes last) is always volume maximization, which I achieve through a combination of Brickwall Limiting and Clipping. Just a quick refresher: Brickwall Limiting is like a compressor with an infinite ratio, and when mastering rock songs it increases the song’s volume by softening the loudest elements of the mix (typically the kick and snare hits); Clipping is like your headphones breaking, and it increases the song’s volume by distorting the loudest parts of the mix (again, typically the kick and snare hits). In breakfast terms, aggressive limiting makes the song sound “mushy”, while aggressive clipping makes the song sound “crunchy”. Notice that both processes make the song sound worse, NOT better, so I try to minimize the damage I do when applying either.

Recently I’ve been noticing that limiting is sounding worse and worse to me, while clipping is sounding more transparent. I’ve been finding that a well-mixed song can handle being clipped a lot more gracefully than it can handle being limited. So, I did this little experiment with one of my Nur Ein songs, Brownie Points. In the picture above, the red waveform in the background is the un-maximized version of the song: notice that it has a nice, natural looking ebb-and-flow to it, with reasonable dynamics and obvious drum peaks. I took this mix and applied 4db of peak reduction, producing two “maximized” versions using limiting for the first one and clipping for the second (in the image the “maximized” track has been volume-matched and superimposed in green over the original). Notice that all the drum peaks have been truncated: from 1:38 onward the song looks literally square-wave.

Here are the resulting tracks (at a high bitrate). If you want to compare them you’d probably be best off skipping to the end of the song where things start to go a little crazy.

Original, Untreated Mix
With ~4db of Clipping
With ~4db of Limiting

I then did several blind ABX tests, and was surprised to find that I could hardly tell the difference between the clipped version and the original. The only difference I noticed was that the kick drum sounded a little more constrained in the clipped version. However, I had no problem distinguishing the limited version, as the softening of the kick and snare makes it sound noticeably wimpier than the original during the song’s loud sections. Although I won’t post them here, I also did a few mixdowns with a blend of limiting and clipping, but found that nothing sounded as transparent as just straight clipping. Here is the mastered track without the volume matching (WARNING - this is a lot louder than the other tracks): Brownie Points Loudified.

So, what have I learned from all this? From now on when I’m mastering my own material I’ll avoid using a limiter if I don’t have to.



Let Me In

22 July 2007 | 22:15 | Songs

ZOMGies

forkbomb - Let Me In

Like all my songs, this one was written under the typical one-week time constraint, but was also limited to only using “Non-standard Percussion”; for my drumkit I used:

  • Kick: 6 gallon plastic water tank + a deeply detuned and muted electric bass (mic’ing the strings, as opposed to amped or DI).
  • Snare: Cake pan covered in saran wrap, wrapped in a crinkly bag. Muted with a package of Instant Noodles.
  • Rumble: Plucking a taught bungee cord
  • Hi-hats: Manual Eggbeater, Manual Coffee Press
  • Cymbals: Tearing pages out of a Canadian Income Tax guide
  • Handclaps: A 69-cent irritate-your-parents noisemaker
  • Ride: A particularly ringy pair of metal tongs
  • Egg Timer: An egg timer

I think this might be the first song I’ve done that contains no synthetic elements. The lyrics are pretty silly and the vocals are a little shaky in places, but otherwise I’m pretty darned happy with how it turned out. Plus it was an excuse to lay down some bitchin’ ukulele riffs.



Lyrics:

It’s been four weeks since the dead rose from their graves
I’m just trying to stay alive
Everyone I meet now only wants to eat my brains
So I’m running to survive

Please let me come inside
‘Cause I don’t want to die
Tonight

LET ME IN! ‘Cause it’s the Night of the Living Dead
LET ME IN! They keep coming back again and again
LET ME IN! I swear I’m not one of them
LET ME IN! I’m trying my best not to lose my head
So let me in.

I’ve been hiding in this junkyard all alone
Building traps to hold them back
But finally the mindless zombies found my home
And the launched their last attack

As I fled I saw your light;
Could there be someone alive
Inside?

LET ME IN! ‘Cause it’s the Night of the Living Dead
LET ME IN! They keep coming back again and again
LET ME IN! I swear I’m not one of them
LET ME IN! I’m trying my best not to lose my head
So let me in.



Little House on the Parkinglot

22 July 2007 | 21:34 | RL

Mah New Place

So, I’m moving! I found a fantastic little place (emphasis on little). Please do not use this image to drop tungsten telephone poles on it from space. As you may or may not be able to tell from that picture, I have no immediate neighbors. No neighbors means I can drum, sing, and practice whenever I want without fear of admonishment. Hell, I could get a real drumkit. A whole band could practice there.

I’m psyched!



Eh, why not.

2 June 2007 | 3:38 | Metapost

Seeing as I own this domain, I might as well use it.